Saturday, September 26, 2009

Finding Your True North

Do you feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster losing it or going insane? One minute you may feel agitated, and lash out irrationally at friends and loved ones. The next minute you may weep and want to be held. Do you feel overwhelmed, sad beyond words, or scared for no apparent reason, or do you find it difficult to shut down your anxious brain to go to sleep then wake in the middle of the night wide-eyed with your heart racing-- You are not alone. Many women feel just like you, hoping and praying for an end to their suffering.

One goal of my book and website is to open up the discussion between women throughout the world and to provide a place where you and other women with similar experiences can share your fears, worries, and triumphs—without judgment-- and learn from each other. Another goal is to empower you with helpful knowledge that explains why you feel the way they do, and to offer practical advice to help you regain control of your life and experience comfort again. It is like giving you a compass, so you, too, can find your True North.

To encourage you to open up and share your stories with me and other women, I shared my personal Female Brain Gone Insane story in my book. Today, I want to share an email I recently received from a woman with whom you may identify. In the future, you will hear from my associates at The Center for Hormonal and Nutritional Balance Inc., who will tell of their emotional upheavals and how they found peace within.
To share your story, or ask other women for suggestions or support, either send me and email and I might post it as a blog in the future. You can also post it on my Facebook page, or as a short tweet on my Twitter page.

There is always a way!

-Mia Lundin

“I wake up in a panic. My house is clean, there is food in the fridge, there are no explosions outside, and the air is calm and cool. But there is a hum in my chest and I’m completely out of sorts. It’s only 6:30 am and I get up and feel anxious, uneasy, as I make my way to brew some tea. What’s going on? My life is working. I am living in a pretty home and nothing is really wrong externally.I must be losing my mind. I must be finally going mad. I remember those movies where women went insane for no apparent reason. Women are just hysterical, right? I better keep my mouth shut and block this discomfort, hide it and pretend everything is fine.My friends and family will be upset. I can’t fall apart. I hold it all together. I look in the mirror and see a tired woman who is upset.

What is wrong with me? I can’t pretend anymore, something real is going on and I’m ashamed to be like this. I’m beside myself. Literally standing to one side and seeing me spinning, scared, and melting down. How can I help me?

Apparently I am not alone. This isn’t a personal problem although it is very personal. I share a process of change with millions of women who are making transitions from one age to another, from one hormonal pattern to another, and my brain knows it. It’s trying hard to keep it together but it’s changing too. I need some help. Such shame and embracement surrounds me as I go to work all dressed and looking good but knowing underneath a woman is losing it and maybe by the end of the day I’ll be a puddle by my desk. Where is she they’ll wonder?

My friends look like they are just fine. They are off to Pilates or the market and are cooking special meals, having their hair colored and I’m barely able to make a phone call to order pizza. I realize, after calling around and probing, that I am not alone. That we all have some experience of feeling fuzzy in the brain, spinning without sleep, or unable to push ourselves off the couch to brush our teeth.Is everyone else is handling everything the way they should? Am I and alone suffering from a crazy mind and failing body?”